I don’t remember the first time I smoked pot or had my first drink. I remember both consumed the better part of my teenage years, but it wasn’t until my early 20’s that I discovered meth. The first time I used it shot through my nervous system like rocket fuel and possessed my consciousness for years before I sought treatment.
Addiction is like a toxic ex-spouse you share a child with. Someone you have to see on a regular basis, sometimes everyday whether you want to or not. For the lucky ones we face it to take away the power our demons would otherwise use to control us.
I used to have a hard time admitting that addiction and alcoholism are a decease. It always felt like a cop-out to me, but after years battling with both I’ve come to realize that the allergy is as true as sugar to a diabetic. This progressive illness that waits in the shadows of our consciousness until we grow weary of our efforts so it can rear it’s ugly head again and again.
Some people think addicts trade one substance for another when they become “AA Fanatics,” and maybe they do, but who’s to judge anyone else’s struggle? When given the choice, at least they decided something healthy.
I for one have to admit that I will always be powerless to alcohol and drugs. That my desire for “escape” and self-medication may never go away, but neither will the support system and program I return to every time I lose my way.
If you or someone you know struggles with addiction or alcoholism, please visit: http://www.recovery.org/browse/los-angeles-ca/